US Coronavirus Deaths Reaching Mass Shooter Levels Of ‘Who Cares’


IN GOOD news, concerns over the amount of people in the US who have died from Covid-19 seem to have passed their peak, with most American citizens regarding the daily death tolls with the same stoic patriotism that they normally reserve for mass shootings and police murdering black people live on Facebook.

Pockets of the US had initially reacted to the spiraling death toll associated with the Coronavirus with the same levels of horror as the rest of the world, in what many are describing as the ‘Columbine’ stage of the pandemic; the point where it all seemed new and shocking.

However, as the death rate comfortably passed 100k and only rising, almost the entire nation have settled down and accepted that these figures are part and parcel of American life, described by analysts as the ‘Sandy Hook’ stage, and are perfectly happy to shrug and move on no matter how high the figures get.

“This is what’s known as the ‘Pulse Nightclub’ stage; lots of deaths, but not even registering on the empathy scale because you’ve seen it happen loads of times before” said Dr. Ellen Warner, chief of the Republican-led ‘American Apathy’ measuring team.

“This is what the government have been waiting for; the point where the rising anger and demand for change from the public gives way to a shrug and a ‘whaddaya gonna do’ attitude. And the best part is, the government didn’t have to do anything to get us to this point; it’s just the very nature of life in the US to be initially appalled, then slowly just not give a shit anymore”.

In more good news for the Republican White House, the public have adopted the same ‘thoughts and prayers’ mantra for the Covid death toll, as opposed to seeking any sort of reform or change.