Essential Frontline Worker Worth €10.10 An Hour, Tops


DESPITE a considerable uptick in appreciation for those working in jobs evidently key to keeping daily life from disintegrating, employers have failed to join in calls for workers constantly praised as ‘frontline heroes too’ to be paid a cent over the minimum wage, WWN can reveal.

Long dismissed as ‘low skilled’ jobs ‘beneath’ some people, essential frontline workers had welcomed peoples’ newly discovered respect and pointed out that ‘it doesn’t have to stop there, we as a society could even start paying us a bit more’.

“No, a tenner an hour sounds fair enough for risking their health,” shared one man who had the good sense to get a degree and a masters so he could attain the sort of ambiguous job title that means nothing, delivers nothing of importance to society, but pays well.

Essential workers have thanked the many large companies employing them for running glitzy sentimental adverts on TV confirming how great they are, but added some of that money could have gone to something called ‘hazard pay’ or ‘a raise’.

“I could do their job easy, but they couldn’t do mine – I’m a foundational technology supply support technician manager – there’s no comparison,” confirmed another man, who was stridently left wing and socialist when it came to applauding healthcare workers, but was further right of Fine Gael when it came to be against making their lives better in any way.

“Wait, hang on if they’re paid more, I can charge more rent right? I’m in!” the nation’s landlords confirmed in a joint statement.