Local Nudist Refuses To Wear Face Mask


“IT’S a matter of principle” said local nudist Cormac Kenetty, standing naked at the entrance to his local Super Valu as the brisk wind gently caressed his substantial arse hair, making it sway like it was conducting an entrancing balletic dance.

Months of lockdown restrictions and the shuttering of many amenities and businesses has proven to be too much for Kenetty, who has chosen today as the day he says ‘no more’ and fights for his nudist rights.

With face masks becoming ever present in public and some businesses requesting customers to wear them on their premises, what many saw as a sensible move has been called ‘outrageous’ by Waterford’s burgeoning nudist community.

“This is a way of life for us and we won’t make a compromise, not even for wearing masks,” confirmed Kenetty, his keys, phone and wallet clenched in his hands due to a lack of pockets.

Refused entry to shops on the grounds of ‘we can see your mickey’, Kenetty is considering mounting a legal challenge on the grounds his freedom of expression and the freedom of his testicles to just hang there are being threatened.

“Oh, don’t worry, I’m very careful in the fruit and veg aisles – I don’t lean crotch first so none of the produce get a testicle tickle,” promised Kenetty, before carefully peeling his ball sack off of his inside leg.