WITH people looking to exercise for a distraction and source of well-being during the Covid-19 pandemic, it has never been more important to have a trusted and experienced source for health and fitness news.
WWN’s Fullmindness revolution is here to help, with an outline of simple but effective exercises that you can do at home while maintaining social distancing and not straying more than 2km from your homes:
Bench press your massive supply of toilet rolls to keep yourself toned.
Why not use your yoga mat to lie down on and just scream for 30 seconds.
Kettle bells aren’t just good for toning up, you can also throw them from your window at teenagers strolling around in big groups.
Keep up your cardio by running away from groups still not practicing social distancing.
In light of the Coronavirus – an amnesty has been declared on carbs, any carbs eaten during this time will not exist.
100 reps of turning tap on and off again during day. 100 reps of vigorous hand washing. Rinse repeat.
Do bicep curls so when you can finally shake someone’s hand again, you’ll be able to rip someone’s fucking
Burn 18,000 calories a day just by panicking non-stop about all of this.
10 x 4 sets of lunging from your couch to the floor after you drop another slice of pizza.
Delay all goals of getting fit to at least mid 2021. Okay, mid 2022.
Do not neglect any muscles that are key to masturbating, you’re going to need them.
Improve neck muscles strength; you’re going to be watching A LOT of Netflix.