Couple Starting To Agree With Last Parent-Teacher Assessment Of Their Kids


WATERFORD couple Alex and Sheila Wilson have ‘rowed back’ on their dismissal of comments they heard during the last parent-teacher meeting they attended, after two hellish weeks of Coronavirus-enforced lockdown with their little shits of kids.

Alex and Sheila had initially dismissed the opinions of the teachers of Adam (8) Erica (6) and Wayne (5) as ‘pure shite talk’ at the time, stressing to family and friends that there’s no way their kids were anywhere near the ‘utter penance’ the meeting portrayed them to be.

However, a fortnight of attempted school lessons and fraught encounters with their three kids has changed the stressed parents’ minds about the abilities of the staff at St. Naoise Of The Shattered Pelvis NS, and as such an apology has been issued from the couple’s Waterford home.

“Any time we reacted to your statements about our kids with a horrified-sounding ‘surely not my Adam’ or ‘that doesn’t sound like Erica’, we apologise” said the duo over Skype, as their three kids wrecked the house behind them.

“If we said something along the lines of ‘maybe it’s just your teaching methods’ or ‘they’re not like that at home’, we apologise. If we bitched about your abilities as a teacher later in the day on our Whatsapp groups, we would like to take a moment to reach out to the people in those groups and say; we were wrong. We were so, so very wrong”.

The family will later issue mea culpas to anyone in the neighbourhood who complained about misbehaviour from their kids in the area, which would have been dismissed with a firm ‘go fuck yourself’ at the time.