Verona Murphy To Personally ‘Deprogramme’ Rosslare Direct Provision Centre

NEWS that the Department of Justice will meet locals in Rosslare, Wexford to discuss the Rosslare Port Lodge Hotel becoming a direct provision centre could have been meet with the sadly familiar sight of people objecting and drumming up anti-refugee rhetoric, however, thanks to newly installed TD Verona Murphy, such unsavoury things will thankfully be completely avoided.

Murphy, who came to the public’s attention when she called for Syrian children refugees fleeing war to be ‘deprogrammed’ on account of somehow being ISIS, will lead the effort to minimise panic and xenophobic ignorance by personally deprogramming all Direct Provision asylum seekers herself.

A self-appointed expert on these matters, sources close to Murphy outlined what such an undertaking would look like.

“Verona’s great, no one knows more about knowing less but just plowing on regardless,” confirmed one local who gave Murphy her 47th preference in the recent election.

“So since we’ve no fucking clue what ‘deprogramming’ ISIS out of innocent refugee toddlers who fled a fucking warzone looks like, we’d imagine Verona will just make scanning ‘bleep-blop-blupe’ noises with her mouth while moving a hoover up and down the kids’ bodies and repeatedly shouting ‘Calais Jungle'”.

The calm measured presence of elected officials of the calibre of Murphy will surely mean the hounding out of Irish towns of vulnerable refugees will be consigned to history at a time when Syrian civilians our facing new threats to life.

While some out of towners not from Rosslare may be tempted to drive to the DP earmarked hotel and burn it down while everyone is distracted by other news, experts have said you can best make your feelings known by clicking HERE.