JANUARY is drawing to a close, and all your hard work, determination and early-morning effort has paid off; you’ve shed those unwanted pounds, and you’re feeling great! There’s just one problem… none of your clothes fit anymore, and with January’s paycheck earmarked for clearing the Christmas credit card, you’re in quite a pickle!
You obviously can’t walk around with your trousers falling off, so what are your options? The way we see it, there’s only one… put that weight back on! Here’s our guide to getting you back into that dress in no time!
This one should be easy; the same food industry that drove a slimming message into you for January will easily sway you back onside with a constant bombardment of wonderful looking food that will have you piling on the calories in no time.
We’d recommend anything that calls itself a ‘breakfast biscuit’ to start the day, followed by the fast food meal of your choice for lunch. Couple that with a nice takeaway delivered to your house courtesy of the app that you saw an ad for nineteen times on the way home when you’re at your weakest and most suggestible, and you’ll be back out of shape before March.
Here at WWN, we’re big fans of alcohol, except for when it gives us an unsightly beer-bloated figure. Well, luckily for you, a beer-bloated figure is exactly what you need to get back into those chinos! Drink a few beers at night to knock you out after a long, stressful day, and then drink a load of coffee the next morning to get your heart racing again, so you’re not groggy or tired after sitting up all night watching Pawn Stars that you’ve seen ten times already. It’s sustainable, and it’s totally going to make you look less than amazing, which is what you want if you don’t want to buy your whole wardrobe again.
Yeah, just don’t.