Rural Ireland To Be Given Separate Rules Of The Road Under New Plans


MINISTER for Transport Shane Ross has reversed all recent drink-driving, speeding and penalty point proposals for rural drivers after objections from certain rural TDs and established the RRR (rural rules of the road).

“We’d like to stress to isn’t about securing easy votes come the next election. Allowing rural drivers to do whatever the fuck they want is, above all, about safety first. What a victory for rural Ireland,” shared all rural TDs who opposed recent proposals.

Work of changing road signage has already begun with all speed signs changing from 50, 80 and 120 to ‘you know the roads better than anyone, floor it’.

“Speed limits? Gone. Drink driving? Ha, nice try. The only fine you’ll get for that is in the form of you vomiting over the steering wheel after a rake of shots. Finally, the government understands that rural Ireland requires different treatment than urban areas when it comes to the roads,” shared one supporter of the measure as he parked his tractor in the middle aisle of a Lidl.

In an unprecedented turn of events there will also be an annual awards ceremony called the Award For Brazen Rural Driving which will honour those drivers who either avoid the NCT the longest, get away without having insurance, drink 18 pints or are under 12 years of age, and other things them up in Dublin just wouldn’t understand shouldn’t apply to rural drivers.

“Nine lads in the back of a Nissan Micra on the way back from a GAA match? Waking up the next day to find you parked your car through your neighbours sitting room wall, these things need celebrating not punishing” added the spokesperson for Common Sense Rural Driving, who will have to be replaced after he crosses over the road thundering around the corner of a notorious accident black spot later in the week.