We Get A Sneak Preview Of The New Brexit-Inspired Version Of ‘Ooh Ah Up The Ra’

IT’S been a tough few years for the Nation’s rebel balladeers; where once this country had a thriving rebel song industry that demanded fresh jigs about blowing up soldiers on a weekly basis, trade has trickled off and died since the Good Friday Agreement, forcing songwriters like Seamus Bán O’Muilleagh to put down his paramilitary pen and eke out a living writing advertising jingles for condiments and feminine hygiene products.

But with fresh fervour around the border in the wake of Brexit, O’Muilleagh has found his skills back in demand, as Republicans in bars all around Ireland are clamouring to have something witty and catchy to sing about the possibility of a United Ireland finally coming about due to the Conservative party’s ill-fated coalition with the DUP, and the EU’s strict rules on participation in the Single Market and the Customs Union.

“I’ll admit, it’s not my most accessible number so far,” said O’Muilleagh, laying out a steady banjo track that he can lay his vocal over.

“It was a lot easier when we were just shooting the Brits, not when we’re involved in multi-party talks surrounding complex negotiations with Brussels, the possibility of a second Brexit referendum, the fact that most old-school Republicans have long since given up paramilitary action, the lack of desire around the border areas for a return to armed conflict, and the fact that the DUP are pretty much beyond parody at this stage. Theresa May sort of rhymes with IRA, but that’s about as far as I’ve gotten so far”.

‘The Hard Border Hooley’ is expected to be released on cassette tape and CD in service stations all around the border counties over the summer, and is sure to be a big hit among public house Republicans who have never been north of Trim in their life.