5 Ways Trump Can Boost His Approval Rating

PRESIDENT Donald Trump’s numbers took a tumble in the latest Rasmussen Poll- dubbed ‘the most accurate poll’ by the president himself- following six months of chaotic leadership and emerging scandals.

So what now for Trump, currently sitting at a record-low approval rating of just 39 percent? Here’s 5 ways the beleaguered boss can win back the hearts of the American people:

1) Start a war

War! What is it good for? Well, it’s good for US presidents as it makes them appear strong and decisive in the face of threats from foreign enemies. Trump has his pick of conflict theatres that he could launch an assault on, from North Korea to Syria or Venezuela, either one and you’re looking at a major loss of life for both US and foreign troops as well as diverting astronomic amounts of much-needed money to the military, but it would garner trump a few extra points from the flag-waving voters of America who hate to be seen as unpatriotic in times of war.

2) He could start a war

We hate to bring it up again, but a war really would do wonders for Trump right now. He could visit troops, stand in front of a stage decorated in flags, while issuing rousing speeches about how victory is a certainty and how God only loves America. All the other stuff, the Russian links, the scandals and the rotating-door policy of White House staff would be forgotten if there was just one great big bloody war going on.

3) Did we mention war?

Honestly, you have 24-hour news footage of US troops laying waste to some third world country. Loads of dead people on the front of every newspaper. People who hate Trump would be outraged and call for his head, but hey, they’re doing that anyways. The rest of America would be like ooh, dead Arabs? Trump, you da man! Yeee haww!

4) It’s going to be war, isn’t it?

Kind of inevitable, really. Unless there was some other thing that Trump could do to appear more presidential, to boost his approval ratings, the numbers he craves more than anything else on this earth. There has to be something he can do, surely? Maybe help 16.1 million American children living in poverty? Meh – that’s not how this works. Ever.

5) War it is, so

We’re surprised he has held out this long, to be honest.