Top 10 Reasons Irish People End Relationships Revealed


IN A NATIONWIDE survey of Irish people conducted as they ran away from people asking them to partake in a quick survey, the top 10 reasons why the Irish end relationships has been revealed and there’s plenty of surprises in there.

10) The hack of ya

Not the most delicate way to dispense with the services of your boyfriend/girlfriend, but it turns out straight up telling someone they have a face like a collapsed lung that somehow contracted gonorrhoea before being pushed through a blender that is then set on fire and launched out into space is a very popular method of ending a relationship.

9) Flatulence.

This answer is vague. Surveyists are unsure if people make the decision to break up with their partners because they fart too much or too little. However, this reason comes in at 9 on the list.

8) Who’s your man/your one.

Clocking eyes on some fine young thing on the street, on a night out, in the office or on public transport can lead to a sexual awakening in someone that leads them to end things with their current partner.

7) Boredom.

Not much going on in your life? Turns out you’re not alone as many people simply move on to pastures new after getting incredibly bored.

6) Winning the lotto

A large number of survey responders have admitted to ending their relationship after winning the lotto. Unburdened from financial concerns, many people realise they no longer feel the need to stay attached to their partner/the other 50% of their income. Some people surveyed left their partners after winning big on a €2 scratch card, with some even ending it all after just winning a free scratchcard.

5) The weather

It may not be your fault, the weather, but that doesn’t stop girlfriends, boyfriends, husbands and wives blaming it all on you and packing their bags.

4) Not tonight, love

Hearing this phrase uttered just once can be enough for some people to ditch their other half.

3) Empowerment, brought about by the release of the new Beyoncé album

A number of responders to the survey confirmed that they chose to end a relationship they were in after experiencing high levels of empowerment, which was brought about by listening to a new Beyoncé album. Others felt the need to need no man after listening to Adele. Worryingly the release of a new Kings of Leon album led many men to believe they were too rugged and sexy not to share themselves with everyone.

2) I’m joining the priesthood, only it’s not the priesthood, it’s a cruise ship populated by 3,000 sexy and horny singles

Many people use the excuse that they’ve found the light as a way to gently let down their partners only for their partners to discover the truth some months later; you went on a cruise in order to become part of an attempt to record the largest orgy ever and get into the Guinness Book of Records.

1) Piss off and stop chasing me down the road with a clipboard, ya prick

The most popular answer is believed to be a request for the survey company to stop pursuing the public in the street. However, the theory that people end a relationship after being followed by their partner everywhere cannot be discounted.