Rise In Racist Incidents Probably Made Up By Foreigners, Confirms Waterford Man


NEWS that there was a rise in racist incidents in the second half of last year by some 33% has been rubbished by one local Waterford man, citing the fact that it’s all probably made up by foreigners.

A staunch defender of the opinion that racism doesn’t exist anymore because he says so, Niall Drennihan took to his mouth to utter whatever thoughts were coming to his mind at the time of first hearing that anti-racism group ENAR received 246 reports of racism.

“Ah, that’s barely a number at all and don’t you know that’d be typical of those lot,” Drennihan said of a group of nondescript people he enjoyed lumping together into one amorphous group on occasions he felt like giving out, “to make it all up for attention. Foreigners.”

Drennihan batted back any claims that you could be something other than white and still be Irish, with the 32-year-old pointing out that non-white people are always foreign in some way.

“And, oh, I suppose I’m not allowed to say that about the dodgy fuckers,” Drennihan added, cementing his reputation as one of Ireland’s leading experts on racism and the reporting of crime.

As ENAR called on the government to implement a national plan against racism, Drennihan confirmed such a move, which could stem violent acts carried against individuals, a waste of his tax.

“I’ve never heard such nonsense, what piece of my tax will pay for the handout after that,” the unemployed man concluded.