5 Ways To Enjoy Week Where All Bills Are Paid & There’s Still A Few Quid In The Account

WITH the vast majority of the working population confirming the existence of a magical three or four day stretch in the middle of each month where the previous paycheque has paid off all bills and essentials, but hasn’t depleted to the crisis-point situation of waiting anxiously to the next paycheque, WWN puts forth a handy guide for ways to enjoy your day or two of having expendable income!

1) Treat yourself!

It’s not often you actually have money with nothing to spend it on. It’s like that moment on a swing when you’re as high as you can go, you know you’re about to swing backwards, so you just enjoy that moment of weightlessness and enjoy the view. So be it with your bank balance; you’ve paid all your bills, it’s payday in about 10 days, and you’ve got a few quid in your account… so yeah, go buy yourself that video game, or that new pair of jeans! Go for a nice dinner, or have a few pints with your friends! Treat yourself!

2) Oh… we forgot about that other bill

Shite. When we said ‘you’ve got all your bills paid’, we forgot about that direct debit that comes out on the 22nd, not at the start of the month like all your others. Shit. Bollocks. Fuck. Okay, okay, that kinda leaves things a bit tricky.

3) Crap

Son of a bitch. You forgot to top up your phone or your bus ticket before you went and spent money you didn’t need to spend on some bullshit you didn’t need to own. ‘Treat yourself?’… who are you, fucking… Joan Collins or someone? Buying stuff in the middle of the month? Are you fucking stupid!

4) Noodles

You went from ‘having some extra money’ to eating beans and Koka noodles for the next ten days. Wonderful.

5) Overdraft

Great, now you’re overdrawn. “Oh, spare money, in my account in the middle of the month, I’d better go spend it one something fun”… moron. Every God damn month this happens.