Insufferable Prick Giving Up Giving Up For Lent


A LOCAL self-described ‘gas ticket’ has confirmed that the only thing he will give up this Lent is the practice of giving up, WWN has learned.

Cormac Connell, 31, explained to coworkers this morning that instead of giving in to ‘the oppressive Catholic dogma of Lent’, he will eat as much chocolate and drink as much alcohol as he wants.

“Ask me what I’m giving up for Lent, go on. Ask me… ask me?” Cormac said for the 14th time in the last hour, which allowed him yet another opportunity to explain how ‘above this shite’ he is.

However, the insufferable prick’s coworkers explained to WWN that they really couldn’t muster the strength to care.

“I’m giving up giving a shit about anything that prick says, if that makes me a gas bastard like Cormac, shoot me please,” shared receptionist Andy Kelleher, who went on to explain he knew Connell, ever the contrarian, would “pull some stunt like this out of his arse just to prove how much better than us he thinks he is. I’ll stab him if mentions it again”.

Kelleher later apologised for his threat, citing the fact he was currently 3 hours into a sugar free lent and couldn’t be held responsible for everything he said.