“You Haven’t Heard The Last Of Me” Insists X-Factor Contestant You’ve Heard The Last Of


ONE of the contestants from this year’s X-Factor has stated that they will have an incredible music career, which will last for generations, in direct contradiction to the rapid descent into obscurity that surely awaits them.

The contestant, whose name and gender we’ve already forgotten, made the statement following their exit from the decreasing-in-popularity talent show, which ended its 2016 run last night with the crowning of this year’s winner; the guy with the hair.

While the guy with the hair will enjoy some degree of celebrity until at least the new year, everyone else who took part in the contest this year are already being forgotten by everyone except their close family and friends, despite insisting that their exit from the show was somehow the ‘start of big things’ for them.

“Trust me, you haven’t heard the last of me,” said one exiting contestant, while fading from the memories of everyone on the planet.

“This is just the start of things for me, I promise. I’m not going to be this year’s Alex Gannett; I’m going to be this year’s William Keeling. Believe that”.

[UPDATE: you have now forgotten everything about this year’s X-Factor].