Local Teenager Sits Down With Parents To Give Them The Sex Talk

WORRIED that his parents might be sexually active, 16-year-old sex expert Cathal Shurtt sat down Aine and David Shurtt for ‘the talk’.

“Look, don’t be embarrassed but I’ve seen both your internet search histories,” Cathal said to his parents, who have been married for over 25 years, “and judging from the questions your asking Google Da, we’re well overdue the sex talk”.

Cathal, an avid watcher of all kinds of graphic pornography who is also getting much more action than his parents, took the mature steps towards giving graphic accounts of what women and men like and don’t like, while urging them to practice safe sex at all times.

“Mum, now there’s a thing called a ‘Donkey Punch’ and Da here might try and pressure you into it, but I cannot be more clear when I say you should only ever engage in sexual experimentation if you both consent and feel comfortable,” Cathal said as he produced the first of 27 educational slides.

“You always regret not broaching the subject sooner, but I’m glad we’ve done it now,” Cathal’s father David told WWN while looking over reams and reams of notes he took during the 3 hour lecture.

Cathal concluded the sexual education of his parents by demonstrating a number of fulfilling sexual positions that both of them may be interested to try should they begin having sex. Aided in his demonstration by his current partner of 3 days, Cathal also showed the proper way to apply a condom.

“It’s a real eye opener, I was always too embarrassed to ask questions. Some of the stuff he did be telling us was absolutely mental, informative but mental,” Cathal’s mother shared with WWN.

“Sex isn’t sex unless it’s safe, repeat after me,” the teenager said as his parents continued to take notes.