Astonishing New Survey Reveals Fuck All

A SURVEY, containing questions posed to a number of people about a certain subject has yielded absolutely no information of merit, WWN can confirm.

Questioning a sampling of the general public, the survey brought forth a stunning lack of any interesting information, prompting over 8,000 media outlets to publish a story on its findings complete with a carefully worded headline that encouraged you to click and read on.

The survey, conducted by a company which conducts surveys, confirmed that the astonishing set of questions revealed absolutely fuck all.

“The survey is entirely meaningless and should not be repackaged by editors who instruct interns to pretend the surveys are anything other than anecdotal bullshit,” survey conductor Martin Henny told WWN.

“What’s truly astonishing about this survey that tells us fuck all is that is isn’t unique. Just last week we asked one person if they liked cheese, they said yes, so technically our survey confirmed 100% of Irish people love cheese,” Henny confirmed.

A follow up survey conducted in the aftermath of the survey confirmed that many people are astonished and shocked by shocking and astonishing surveys which claim to be both astonishing and shocking.