House Prices On The Rise For Once

THE latest figures from property website Daft.ie show that housing prices rose by an average of 8.5% over the last 12 months, shocking everyone involved in the property speculation industry, as rising property prices in Ireland is a truly alien concept.

“This just never happens,” property expert and professional hyper of the property market Jason McGinley explained to WWN earlier today.

Housing prices outside of Dublin rose by an astonishing 13.1%, which has shocked the house buying public who are used to getting their homes for the cut price of about €27.

“I’m no expert, but I’m almost certain this sort of stuff never happens, it’s mad, you’d think there would be more about it in the news,” first time buyer Averil Hughes shared, seemingly unaware of the 89 property pullout special appearing in the Nation’s newspapers today.

Elsewhere, Dublin was beset by a tragedy which has sent shockwaves through the county as their property prices actually fell.

“Well, they actually increased by 2.7% over the year, but what the fuck is that going to do for my commission like?” Damien Curley, estate agent explained to WWN.

While the increase in prices has been welcomed many experts fear it is still not a significant enough increase to encourage the public to start playing the property market like it is a game of Monopoly.