Family Finally Accepts That Nobody Is Going To Eat The Strawberry Roses


NEARLY three weeks after Christmas Day, a Dublin family has finally begun preparing to throw out the almost-empty tin of Roses, after admitting to themselves that nobody is going to eat the Strawberry ones.

The Finnegan family from Rathmines purchased the tin of Cadbury’s chocolates in the run-up to the festive season, along with tins of Quality Street and Celebrations.

The Celebrations were the first to be eaten, lasting until around 11 am on Christmas Eve. The family of three then moved on to the Roses, having made the sensible decision to throw the entire tin of Quality Street directly into the bin.

However, following an initial love-affair with the assorted confections, the family began running out of their favourites, leaving a pile of coffee and strawberry ones that nobody would eat. After leaving them in the bottom of the tin and occasionally picking at them in times of dire chocolate need, Finnegan matriarch Paula has decided to discard the remaining sweets.

“There comes a time when you just have to accept that nobody is going to eat the fucking things, ” said Paula, speaking to World media at a press conference.

“We’re basically just down to the Strawberry Dreams, after my sister cleaned us out of Coffee Escapes. Neither I nor my husband Ian will touch them so I’m just offering them to whoever comes through the door. Although after three weeks, I admit that it’s time to fill a bin with them”.

Mrs. Finnegan wrapped up the press conference by asking is any of the assembled journalists or photographers would like a sweet, even though she only had strawberry ones to offer.