Category: HEALTH

Gang Of Polish Lads Brought In To Fix HSE

FED up with the state of the Health Service Executive, the government have turned to a crew of highly recommended Polish lads who claim the job is ‘no problem’, and should be finished up by the weekend tops. Minister For Health Simon Harris found the Polish lads through a neighbour of his who claimed there wasn’t… Read more »

New Cannabis Research Paper Ideal For Making Roaches

A STARK new study that suggests the daily use of cannabis could lead to an increased likelihood of psychotic disorders has been found to be the perfect thing to print out on A4 paper and make little paper filters for joints, WWN can reveal. Cannabis users shy on roaches have been using the report, compiled… Read more »

Considering An Abortion? Read This First

ARE you currently experiencing a crisis pregnancy in Ireland? With the recently introduced legislation which governs the legislation of termination services available or not available in or near your area, subject to article 45 paragraph 9, hitherto referred to as the article, but not affiliated with ongoing applications for a reversal of said legislation, binding… Read more »

“Fuck The Nurses,” Clarifies Government

REMOVING any ambiguity from recent comments made in public, to the Dáil, in the media and said privately when they think no one is listening, the Government have helpfully clarified for the public ‘fuck the nurses’, WWN can reveal. As separate strike actions from midwives and psychiatric nurses remain ongoing, the government has tried to… Read more »