Cameron Delighted That Whole Dead Pig Thing Kinda Blew Over

BRITISH Prime Minister David Cameron is today breathing a sigh of relief after realising that the scandalous claims made by a former colleague seem to have blown over without too much hassle.

During the incident known as “piggate”, it was alleged by a former Tory supporter that Cameron had placed his genitals in the mouth of a dead pig’s severed head, as part of a bizarre initiation ceremony during the prime minister’s time at college.

In excerpts from his upcoming book which were published by the Daily Mail, Lord Michael Ashcroft claimed to have seen pictures of the incident, and that the practice was common among members of the Piers Gaveston Society in Oxford.

Social media outlets exploded with jokes and photoshopped images about the alleged incident, but after a few days and a short press release from Downing St. ridiculing the claim, everyone seems to have gone on with their lives and forgotten about it.

“It looked rough there for a while, but it’s business as usual now, ” said Cameron, preparing for a hard day at the office.

“There was a time when allegations of face humping a dead pig would dog a man for the rest of his life, but luckily we live in an age where people get bored of stories like that and just move on to the next scandal. If social media was populated by anything other than goldfish, it might have been a serious problem”.

Cameron went on to add that he now feels he can get away with pretty much anything he likes as prime minister, without much hassle from anyone.