Thousands Attend Candlelit Vigil For Bar Staff Ahead Of 12 Pubs Of Christmas

THE streets of Dublin were last night thronged, as thousands attended the annual Candlelit Vigil for bar staff ahead of this weekends 12 Pubs of Christmas onslaught.

The 12 Pubs Of Christmas, where festive revellers dress up in hilarious jumpers and attempt a drink in a dozen pubs to celebrate the official beginning of the Yuletide binging season, has long been a source of immense strife for the staff of bars and nightclubs.

Last night’s vigil, held at St. Stephens Green, was attended by the families and loved ones of the brave bar men and women who will endure unimaginable hardship over the next three weeks, as lightweights who don’t go to a pub for the other 11 months of the year attempt to prove to the world that they’re great craic by acting like a complete tit while using the excuse “ah sure it’s Christmas”.

“I’m here to pray for my son, who is a glass collector in The Milky Blackthorn in town, ” said one woman, tears visible in her eyes.

“Every night he goes to work, I wait up until he comes home safe and sound. There’s just so many aresholes out over the festive period, trying desperately to to show how gas they are despite having no previous experience at being good craic”.

“There’s a man over there, his son is barman at Podge O’Reillys, where last year staff was subjected to subhuman conditions. We just want people to act like they do for the rest of the year, and not believe that wearing a Santy hat gives you a right to be a shithead”.

As the vigil wound down, there were calls for people to enjoy their Festive drinks with a modicum of composure, as well as a plea to stop calling it the 12 Pubs of Christmas, as everyone knows you’re going to end up staying in the first pub all night.