ISS Astronaut Totally Blanking Ireland For Some Reason
AFTER weeks of assuming that an astronaut currently orbiting Earth on-board the International Space Station was just too busy to tweet pictures of Ireland from space, Irish people are today coming to terms with the fact that he may be intentionally blanking us.
Commander Chuck Denver, an American astronaut who joined the ISS crew in low-Earth orbit last May, has used his official Twitter account to post stunning photographs of practically every country on the planet as seen from space, with the exception of Ireland.
Assuming that perhaps the path of the station didn’t pass over us or that Denver may have been asleep while it did, Irish people have fruitlessly checked Twitter on a daily basis to see if a photo of Ireland had been posted. The final straw came yesterday as Denver posted stunning images of the entire United Kingdom, while failing to mention the Emerald Isle.
“We were willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, but it’s becoming clear that he’s ignoring us” said Paddy Murphy, official spokesperson for Ireland.
“Look at the tweet he put up yesterday; ‘Incredible view of England, Scotland and Wales’… Ireland is right fucking there! What is this guys problem? Is our island not good enough for him? Did we do something wrong to him at some stage? We’ve been waiting on a compliment from him for months now, and he goes and throws flowers at the UK and ignores us? What did we do wrong?!”.
The apparent dissing of Ireland by Cmdr. Denver is a far cry from the adulation shown to us by Cmdr. Chris Hadfield, who frequently posted on Twitter about how great we looked and was subsequently handed the freedom of the country, an honorary doctorate from Trinity College and a gold card for Coppers when he returned to Earth. Although the Irish people are keeping a brave face, experts believe that if Denver continues to ignore us, it may do irreparable harm to our self-esteem as a nation.
“We keep telling Ireland that Chuck Denver is just a stupid guy and to not worry about what he thinks” said Hamish McIntyre, spokesperson for Scotland and close friend of Ireland.
“But the Irish people are still pretty hung about the whole thing. They’ve been trying for weeks to get Denver to notice them, every time the ISS passes over them they start tweeting at his account, flirting and trying to catch his attention”.
“Then when he tweeted a picture of Scotland instead, well, we didn’t know where to look. We turned to Ireland and said look, forget about this guy, he’s not worth your time. They’ve told us they’re totally over the whole thing, but none of them have unfollowed him on Twitter yet”.