Tag: winter

Weather To Remain Cold, But Not Cold-Cold

THE latest weather report from Met Éireann has confirmed the nation’s worst fears; that although the next couple of weeks will remain bitterly cold, it will not reach a point where we all get a free day off work again. Satellite imaging has shown that there does not appear to be a ‘Beast From The… Read more »

HSE Down To Last Wire Brush, Bottle Of Dettol

ANYONE currently awaiting treatment for ailments ranging from chronic piles to chronic pyorrhoea have been advised to check with their local hospital to see if their appointment has been cancelled, after the HSE admitted that cutbacks have decimated its supply of Dettol, and the one wire brush owned by the health executive is ‘fucked’. Furthermore, the… Read more »

Local Psycho Actually Likes Shite Weather

AN APPARENT psychopath has declared his fondness for shite and inclement weather, specifically the horrid unremitting bleakness associated with the depths of winter, WWN can reveal. Andy Colgan (33) has been eagerly anticipating the drop in temperature, the reduction in light in the evenings, the increase in the chill and rain since the end of… Read more »

Remembering Tragic Winter Solstice ’89

FOR many, the Winter Solstice is the perfect time of year to come together in pagan worship, as the first sun of the shortest day of the year cracks across the Boyne horizon and showers Newgrange with light. But for some, the wounds of December 21st, 1989 still run too deep. It started like any other Winter… Read more »

Weather Issues Met Éireann Warning

THE Irish weather has issued a statement in which it warns the public to be aware of sweeping statements blowing westerly across the country from the headquarters of Met Éireann, which will pick up speed and ferocity as the month of December rolls in. The missive explained how the gusts of panic and dread will… Read more »