REPORTS emanating from the Vatican this morning contrast greatly with the official accounts of US President Donald Trump’s first meeting with Pope Francis, WWN can confirm. The first meeting between the two leaders had been much anticipated after the Pope decried the toxic messages Trump shared on his presidential campaign, solidified by Republican budget proposals… Read more »
AMERICAN defense stocks soared Monday after President Donald Trump signed a $110 billion weapons deal with Saudi Arabia, a move that will be worth $350 billion over the next 10 years for the leaders of the free world. However, WWN can reveal that the sale does come with some hidden clauses with serious implications, including a proposed plan… Read more »
A PARADE of trucks, from several competing fumigation service providers, were seen lining up outside the White House at 7am this morning following reports that the Oval Office may have become infested with noxious bullshit. Many concerned citizens working in buildings in the surrounding Washington DC area complained about the overwhelming stench shortly after President… Read more »
PRESIDENT Trump’s newly unveiled tax reforms have been welcomed by the poorest rich people in America, despite the fact the proposed extensive changes to the tax system was clearly hastily written on a napkin from the McDonalds closest to the White House. Naysayers will point to the fact the reforms outlined in bullet point form… Read more »
AS THE Trump administration backs down on border wall funding while it continues the tendering process for bids on the construction of the wall between the US and Mexico, some specifications remain non-negotiable for the US president. A spending bill to go before Congress on Friday will now no longer include funding for the wall,… Read more »
DONALD Trump is today attempting to locate a squirrel with the ability to sort bad nuts from good ones, in a bid to appease his demanding daughter Ivanka who has locked herself in the Oval Office and is refusing to come out until she has her squirrel. Ivanka, 35, had spotted the cute furry creature… Read more »
THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION has rallied round its president and devised a slightly less xenophobic travel ban which is set to bring an end to the senseless loss of life recently incurred in attacks in Sweden, Bowling Green and Atlanta WWN can confirm. The second iteration of President Trump’s travel ban will see the citizens of… Read more »
STREAMING GIANT Netflix has made the decision to cancel its successful House of Cards series, citing the fact that despite an effort to create a series of compelling and dramatic events surrounding the inner workings of Washington politics and the White House, try as they might they ‘can’t compete with this shit’. The news comes… Read more »
EXPERTS in Morse code are claiming the American first lady, Melania Trump, blinked the letters ‘H.E.L.P.’ during her first official appearance as First Lady at the White House on Wednesday to welcome Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and his wife Sara. Standing outside the South Portico of the White House with husband, President Donald Trump, the 46-year-old… Read more »
WORRY has been expressed at the highest levels within the UN following the successful test of a ballistic missile by North Korea and its leader Kim Jong Un, who went on to issue a stark and distressing ‘missile launching contest’ invite to US President Donald Trump. It is believed the UN fears that both massively… Read more »