Trump Confirms Mexican Wall Must Contain World’s Smallest Glory Hole


AS THE Trump administration backs down on border wall funding while it continues the tendering process for bids on the construction of the wall between the US and Mexico, some specifications remain non-negotiable for the US president.

A spending bill to go before Congress on Friday will now no longer include funding for the wall, a high profile campaign promise made by President Trump.

However, Trump continued to stress the wall ‘must look good from the US side’ and must also contain the world’s smallest glory hole whenever he gets around to funding and building it.

While it is not yet clear why the world’s smallest glory hole is needed, Trump has asked that it is placed at the thinnest point of the border wall with a private booth around it.

“The smallest, I mean, really, the smallest,” Trump said, elaborating, “think of the smallest thing you know, then think smaller than that, and you’re getting closer to the size required”.

“I hear the Mexican women are great, honestly I do, everyone is saying it. I will have the only key, let’s hope there’s some good hombres girls in Mexico after all,” Trump went on to explain.

Trump’s inner circle, which includes Rence Preibus, Rex Tillerson, Jared Kushner, Sean Spicer and Steve Bannon, would not be drawn on who could need such a miniscule hole which is normally used by men looking to have their penis pleasured by an anonymous person.

“Honestly, looking at the tiny spec for the hole, it could be any of them,” one construction firm tendering for the wall said to WWN.

In other news, Pfizer has won the exclusive Viagra supply contract to the White House believed to be worth somewhere in the region of $500 million.