Leo Varadkar Commended After Kicking The Shit Out Of Dole Cheat


WHEN Leo Varadkar promised a ‘hard hitting’ campaign against social welfare fraudsters, he wasn’t messing around; the Minister For Social Protection was today involved in a pull-apart brawl with a man suspected of living with his partner while she claims single parent allowances.

“Fucking sponger,” Varadkar was heard to scream as he crossed the green outside the suspect’s apartment in Coolmine at 9am this morning, before leaping into a flying kick that caught the man square on the jaw.

“I’ll show you how a potential Taoiseach tackles work-shy moochers like you!” he added, locking the man into an MMA-style triangle choke hold, until the scrap was broken up by onlookers.

Spitting on his fallen opponent as he made his way back to the Varadkarmobile, eye-witnesses were heard to commend Varadkar for taking a hands-on approach to a problem that he claims is crippling the country.

“I’m very impressed with Mr. Varadkar,” said one onlooker, who works for a living and feels a great deal of resentment towards those that don’t.

“I think it’s great that someone has identified that the financial problems faced by this country are caused by a simple problem that I can comprehend and get my head around. There are people that claim Ireland is in the shit because of corporate tax loopholes that cost the State billions every year, shady dealings with bankers and the EU and the Troika and all that, but I could never really wrap my head around that kind of thing. But the guy up the road claiming the sick even though he looks fine to me? Yeah, time to kick the fuck out of lads like that”.

Mr. Varadkar was unavailable for comment on the matter, as he was busy leading a ‘LEO, LEO, LEO!’ chant from the sunroof of his car.