“Ah In Fairness, Someone Else Should Run It,” God Tells Sisters Of Charity


GOD ALMIGHTY has broken his millennia long silence to plead with the Sisters of Charity religious order to step away from the new National Maternity Hospital.

“Ah lads in fairness,” began God, from a small gap in the clouds above, “d’ya not think someone else, literally anyone else should run it?”

“I’d imagine there’s got to be a group better suited to all this, I mean, you know, we’ve history books and the news up here too,” God continued politely, careful not to get on the wrong side of a group of people known to have a predilection for administering punishment.

As the controversy continues surrounding the administration of the new hospital, set for a site at St Vincent’s Hospital, it is unclear if God’s rare interjection will make the slightest bit of difference.

“You know, when ya think about it, stepping away from the hospital to ensure people feel happy, content, protected and in receipt of care which is devoid of sinful things like ignorance, avarice, stubbornness and pride – that’s basically my jam. That’s what I’ve been on about up here for God knows how long,” confirmed God, unwilling to share with the public exactly how long that has been.

God concluded his brief press conference from the clouds with an awkward plug for one of his books, which he suggested the religious order read.

It is believed the Minister for Health and the board of the National Maternity Hospital, which counts the Archbishop of Dublin as its chair, will respond to God in due course with empty platitudes which give the false impression they have any respect for the concerns of other people or deities.