Trump Gives Second, Slightly Less Xenophobic Travel Ban A Go


THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION has rallied round its president and devised a slightly less xenophobic travel ban which is set to bring an end to the senseless loss of life recently incurred in attacks in Sweden, Bowling Green and Atlanta WWN can confirm.

The second iteration of President Trump’s travel ban will see the citizens of just 6 predominantly Muslim countries banned from entering the United States for 120 days, with the decision being made after extensive intelligence reports from terrorism expert voices within the President’s head.

“It’s been slightly watered down, we’re just trying to hit that sweet spot of not being overtly xenophobic so that we can get away with it,” head of bad decisions at the White House Steve Bannon shared with WWN.

In a masterstroke by President Trump, the ban will take effect on the 16th of March, which will only gives ‘bad dudes’ 10 days to flood into the country before it takes effect, the sort of head start Trump has consistently warned against giving people travelling to the US.

“We’ve gone to great lengths to make this less xenophobic towards Muslims, not because we feel that is right, but because we’ve realised the un-American Constitution won’t let us get away with anything more,” a beaming Bannon added, while joyfully watching a Youtube compilation video of people self-immolating.

Despite the predicted battle ahead in the courts to see the ban enacted, many people are already heralding the second ban as it will deny thousands of orphaned children from Syria entry to the US.