Tag: space

US Proves There’s Nowhere They Can’t Bomb

NASA’s successful mission to crash a spacecraft onto a distant asteroid has been heralded as a complete success, and proof that even deep space isn’t safe from aerial assault by the US government. The ‘DART’ mission, not affiliated with the even more dangerous transport system in Dublin, was launched in November of last year in… Read more »

Space Big As Fuck, Confirm Scientists

THE first images returned by the James Webb telescope have confirmed what many have believed for years; space is big, like really big, filled with stuff that is far, far away. Like really far. “We’re talking really far, no kidding, really, really far,” confirmed one NASA scientist, as the Webb infrared space telescope returned stunning… Read more »

Jeff Bezos Still A Wanker, Agrees World

ALTHOUGH the world has admitted that the footage of 90-year-old Star Trek actor William Shatner floating in zero-gravity on board the Blue Origin space flight yesterday was touching, Amazon boss Jeff Bezos ‘needn’t think’ that he’s off the hook for a raft of arsehole behaviour over the last number of years. Thousands tuned in to… Read more »

Buzz Aldrin Free To Make Up Any Old Shit Now

BUZZ Adlrin, the last surviving crew member of the historic Apollo 11 moon landing mission, has spoken out following the death of his fellow astronaut Michael Collins, stating that Collins always agreed that it was Buzz Aldrin who ‘really held that whole moon trip together’. “Ask anyone and they’ll tell you; I was the star… Read more »

NASA Accused Of Using Drone To Perv On Mars

PERVERTS working at NASA have today been slammed for using a drone to stalk the red planet, WWN has learned. The criticism comes as researchers and scientists working for the US space agency flew a helicopter for the first time ever on another planet, without apparently any concern for its privacy. “We’re guessing they don’t… Read more »