PERVERTS working at NASA have today been slammed for using a drone to stalk the red planet, WWN has learned. The criticism comes as researchers and scientists working for the US space agency flew a helicopter for the first time ever on another planet, without apparently any concern for its privacy. “We’re guessing they don’t… Read more »
NASA’s groundbreaking Perseverance rover has touched down on the surface of Mars, where it will now remain in isolation for 14 days to ensure it does not spread Covid-19, unlike some of you we could mention. Although the chances of transmitting Covid-19 from a mechanical 6-wheeled exploratory vehicle to whatever microbial life may exist in… Read more »
JAPANESE scientists are being asked if now is really the time to be examining asteroid dust collected by the Hayabusa-2 space probe, given the losing streak that earth has been on for the last 12 months. A capsule from the space probe landed in our atmosphere earlier this morning as scheduled, but there have been… Read more »
NASA’s ‘big news’ about the discovery of water on the moon has been met with a resounding ‘meh’ from humanity, in a year where even the CIA struggled to drum up wonder and awe with their announcement that UFO’s were real. The space agency had drummed up huge buzz before the announcement with a number… Read more »
THE WORLD has been told to stay calm following news of an air leak on board the International Space Station, as the issue has almost zero chance of developing into anything other than a mundane repair with no drama, no zero-G fireballs, and no last minute Hail-Mary solutions that would involve the sacrifice of a… Read more »
THE CONSERVATIVE government is today hailing yet another Brexit breakthrough with the announcement that they have signed a ‘win-win’ trade deal with newly discovered possible signs of life on the economic powerhouse of planet Venus. “This is a triumph for Brexit Britain, today we have signed a trade deal which will see Britain import, tariff… Read more »
A SPOKESPERSON for the Blarzxion-13 galaxy has stated that the region ‘kinda expected a bit more of a to-do’ in regards to their recent trip to Earth, as evidenced in footage released by the Pentagon this week. “Well that was a fucking popcorn fart” stated Blkorg, whose government had invested every last Dramaxion credit they… Read more »
THE DISCOVERY of a mass 70 times greater than the Sun and 15,000 light years from Earth has confounded the world’s leading astronomers who claim it is twice the size of what was initially thought possible by scientists and that it has ceaseless destructive capabilities. “This is the largest supermassive black hole ever discovered, and… Read more »
SCIENTISTS at US space agency NASA have confirmed that the moon which will display a ‘rare super blue blood moon’ this evening is just showing off at this stage and is just looking for attention. “Ah, honestly, don’t look at it. That’s exactly what it wants,” confirmed one NASA official, who also remarked “what even… Read more »
AN OBJECT previously thought to be an asteroid from interstellar space has been downgraded to being just ‘God’s turd’ following an extensive study by scientists at NASA. Discovered on the 19th of October, the object’s speed and trajectory strongly suggested it originated in a planetary system around another star, but after further testing it was found the anomaly… Read more »