THE WORLD has been told to stay calm following news of an air leak on board the International Space Station, as the issue has almost zero chance of developing into anything other than a mundane repair with no drama, no zero-G fireballs, and no last minute Hail-Mary solutions that would involve the sacrifice of a… Read more »
THE CONSERVATIVE government is today hailing yet another Brexit breakthrough with the announcement that they have signed a ‘win-win’ trade deal with newly discovered possible signs of life on the economic powerhouse of planet Venus. “This is a triumph for Brexit Britain, today we have signed a trade deal which will see Britain import, tariff… Read more »
A SPOKESPERSON for the Blarzxion-13 galaxy has stated that the region ‘kinda expected a bit more of a to-do’ in regards to their recent trip to Earth, as evidenced in footage released by the Pentagon this week. “Well that was a fucking popcorn fart” stated Blkorg, whose government had invested every last Dramaxion credit they… Read more »
THE DISCOVERY of a mass 70 times greater than the Sun and 15,000 light years from Earth has confounded the world’s leading astronomers who claim it is twice the size of what was initially thought possible by scientists and that it has ceaseless destructive capabilities. “This is the largest supermassive black hole ever discovered, and… Read more »
SCIENTISTS at US space agency NASA have confirmed that the moon which will display a ‘rare super blue blood moon’ this evening is just showing off at this stage and is just looking for attention. “Ah, honestly, don’t look at it. That’s exactly what it wants,” confirmed one NASA official, who also remarked “what even… Read more »
AN OBJECT previously thought to be an asteroid from interstellar space has been downgraded to being just ‘God’s turd’ following an extensive study by scientists at NASA. Discovered on the 19th of October, the object’s speed and trajectory strongly suggested it originated in a planetary system around another star, but after further testing it was found the anomaly… Read more »
THE STATE News Agency of North Korea has confirmed today that the country has become the first in the world to ever land a man on the sun. It reported that astronaut Hung Il Gong left for the sun on a specially designed rocket ship at approximately 3am this morning. Hung, who travelled alone, reached… Read more »