Tag: coronavirus

Interfering Bastards At EU Says Irish Government Should Tackle Problems In Health, Housing & Inequality To Fuel Recovery

AS A potential €500 billion economic recovery fund is being proposed by Germany and France to help EU countries bounce back from the Covid-19 pandemic, the interfering bastards at the EU have dealt Irish political parties a severe blow after stating Ireland shouldn’t make cuts in vital areas that hammer ordinary citizens. Instead, those meddling… Read more »

Police Bust Underground Hairdressing Ring

A DAWN raid by police has resulted in the dismantling of the largest illegal hairdressing ring in the country and the seizure of €15,000 worth of hair dye, scissors and dozens of women’s gossip magazines, WWN can confirm. The calm of the morning silence in the sleepy Dublin suburb was punctured by the armed response… Read more »

Local Nudist Refuses To Wear Face Mask

“IT’S a matter of principle” said local nudist Cormac Kenetty, standing naked at the entrance to his local Super Valu as the brisk wind gently caressed his substantial arse hair, making it sway like it was conducting an entrancing balletic dance. Months of lockdown restrictions and the shuttering of many amenities and businesses has proven… Read more »

Local Man An Expert In The German League All Of A Sudden

STUDIOUS and prolific, Olympic-level bullshitter Conor Shellin has been given a new lease of life thanks to the behind-closed-doors return of the Bundesliga. Decamped to his couch all weekend and mainlining hours of football after weeks of devastating withdrawals, Shellin was a hyperactive presence on WhatsApp, Twitter and Instagram delivering stats, facts and opinions on… Read more »