Local Man Cancels Workout Due To Uncharged AirPods

A COUNTY Waterford gym has issued a notice today asking members to charge their music devices before their scheduled gym appointments following one of several cancellations citing uncharged airpods, WWN has learned. “What’s the fucking point if I can’t listen to tunes?” defended MeatHeads Gym member, Derek Stapleton, who only realised his airpods weren’t charged… Read more »

Covid Swab Most Action Single Woman Has Got This Year

PRESENTING herself at her local Covid-19 testing centre this morning, one local woman came to a depressing realisation. With a nasal and throat swab bringing forth gagging and evoking vivid muscle memory, a sexually reawakened 26-year-old Ciara Cloonan suddenly became acutely aware of the fact that this brief exchange with a Covid test swab was… Read more »

Local Man Caught In Permanent Lockdown Mode

CHRONIC consumer of all things bad, local man Patrick Murphy’s anxiety levels peaked at ten past 9 last night following yet more Covid-related news emanating from his TV screen depicting graphs of still curvy curves, forcing him into action for what is now the 196th night in a row. “I’m just nipping down to the… Read more »