A LOCAL Waterford man is now the subject of intense interest and intrigue from the scientific community after successfully growing his virginity back, WWN can reveal. Jack Curran (28) is one of many singletons adversely affected by nearly a year of on and off again lockdowns making normal socialising and dating all but impossible, and… Read more »
DESPITE not posting or liking anything in his 12 years on social media, that skulking prick from school continually views every single one of your Facebook and Instagram stories, watching you and everything you post, harvesting the visuals of your life for some unknown purpose, WWN has learned. Still with the same profile picture from… Read more »
THE O’RIORDAN family are now the talk of the locality after it emerged the clan of raving oddballs have their Christmas dinner at the frankly insane time of 7pm. “They were always ‘odd’ if you know what I mean,” confirmed neighbour Tracey Whelan when speaking with WWN. A community wide test alert with nothing but… Read more »
DETERMINED not to let COVID-19 restrictions completely ruin his 2020, Dublin man Eric Larragher has headed into the city center with 140 euro in cash tucked into his sock to cover the taxi soilage charge he’s going to incur on the way home from a night on the tear. “So far this year I’ve missed… Read more »
YOU’VE explained to your mother on several occasions that there really is no need to send a plate of Christmas dinner in the post as you’re not sure if that’s even legal. All that’s left is to begin your Christmas dinner on Zoom, but not before reading WWN’s essential survival guide first: First off, Christmas… Read more »
IGNORING all calls to enjoy the new coronavirus vaccine responsibly, a group of hardened sessioners from Waterford are adamant about binging the miracle cure over a 14-hour period on the 23rd of December as a modification of their usual ’12 pubs’ night out. “I’ve told the missus already, an overdose of this thing might leave… Read more »
THE re-opening of gastropubs and restaurants hasn’t come a moment too soon for one Waterford woman, who can’t wait to head to her favourite eatery tonight to order a big feed for herself so that she can send it back to the kitchen for some perceived discrepancy and spend the next two weeks calling for… Read more »
THE roll-out of a new form of lab-grown meat is to be rolled out in secret to kebab shops around the world, in a bid to slowly ingratiate the substance to meat-eaters before revealing its true origins, much as how a mother might wait until her family was finished a delicious meal before revealing that… Read more »
SILICONE DOCKS worker Karl Regan has told his fellow IT work colleagues via WhatsApp that he will not be taking the full form of the new Covid-19 vaccine, but instead will microdose the injection over a period of time, WWN has learned. In a bid to reap the full benefits of the new drug, Regan… Read more »
