THE PUBLIC, along with experts continue to query the best method for minimising the spread of Covid-19 while also minimising the damage to economic health and societal wellbeing. Is the Swedish mentality the way forward? New Zealand’s ‘zero Covid’ strategy? Can the low incidence of Covid-19 on the continent of Africa be replicated elsewhere? Now,… Read more »
THE SMALL minority of the Irish public still ignoring public safety messages and now putting the hard fought progress achieved by the majority at risk have been warned there will be a second wave of slaps handed out, WWN can reveal. “Personally, I’ve got the message. It was probably after the 1,569th daily briefing. I… Read more »
SINGER songwriter Noel Gallagher has been reportedly induced into a coma and put on a ventilator last night by angered frontline workers in a bid to prove Covid-19 and wearing masks are not a ‘pisstake’, WWN has learned. The abduction and sedation of the former Oasis man comes after the 53-year-old rubbished the wearing of… Read more »
AS EXPERTS warn that trying to follow politician-led Covid-19 briefings could result in you suffering a fatal brain aneurysm, the government insisted if you think you’re confused now wait until you hear them try and clear things up some more. Formally entering stage ‘making about as much sense as a drunk uncle at a wedding’… Read more »
THERE HAS been considerable consternation caused by the latest press briefing conducted by the government’s crack team of Confusing Covid Confusion experts. Such is the impenetrable logic populating much of the new measures and guidelines, some over the top critics have suggested it is high time the government ‘got their fucking heads out of their… Read more »
FEARS that the onslaught of Covid-19 may have irreparably changed the environment of Irish hospitals were eased today, as A&E departments around the country recorded the highest number of patients on trolleys in over six months. Pastoral scenes of overcrowding were evident in hospitals in Limerick, Cork, Mullingar and many more, sparking fresh hopes of… Read more »
MINISTER For Health Stephen Donnelly was said to be ecstatic this morning at the fact that he was the number one trend on Twitter in Ireland all night, a sure sign that he’s doing a great job with his ministerial brief and everything is ‘coming up Donnelly’. “Trending all night, even with the big storm;… Read more »
DESPITE having suffered the seasonal slings of pollen-based nasal misfortune for the past 20 years, there was something about the grind of 2020 so far that made Waterford hay fever sufferer Mal O’Connell think that he’d get through this summer sniffle free, WWN can report. “It was the whole Covid-19 thing, to be honest” said… Read more »
IN AN attempt to reflect the fact that Ireland will be living with Covid-19 for some time to come, the government revealed that it will be moving away from a ‘four phases’ model and adopting a colour-coded system which it promises to botch the explanation of very soon. “Fear not, the details will be suitably… Read more »
EMBRACING each other while crying tears of joy; US based scientists are celebrating the news the world was desperate to hear ever since Covid-19 emerged in the Wuhan province of China late last year. For the first time since February 2020 scientists have observed mutations in conversations had by humans which contain zero trace or… Read more »