Public Doesn’t Need Secret Recordings To Tell HSE Management Haven’t A Clue: Report


IN THE aftermath of The Business Post obtaining secret recordings of Department of Health officials discussing how they little trust there is in the financial reporting of the HSE, which speaks to widespread dysfunction across the board at senior management level, the public has confirmed ‘no shit Sherlock’.

“We’re shocked I tell you, shocked,” said the public in a mocking tone, while an elite team of rocket scientists were stood down as it turned out they would not be needed to explain this.

This news comes in addition to a DOH whistleblower claiming the department was not sure if an additional €514mn in funding to the HSE in the 2020 supplementary budget was necessary or what it was spent on, if it was spent at all.

“Failing to provide officials with credible information on spending and allocation, seemingly fake recruitment targets they can’t meet while at the same time losing staff to other countries. No, surely you must be talking about a different HSE board, you’re confused,” continued the public, genuinely amused by the thought of journalists believing a damning expose on the free wheeling chaos at the HSE would surprise them.

“A whistleblower claiming €12mn from the Temporary Assistance Payments Scheme was being used to purchase ‘One for All’ vouchers for frontline workers in nursing homes, and that DOH officials lost the rag when minutes of them discussing it were written down because it could subject to Freedom of Information requests. No, sorry, don’t believe that, these officials are all about accountability,” confirmed the public on the verge of breaking their bollocks laughing and being put on a HSE waiting list for 6 years.