IDF To Stick UN Ceasefire Resolution On Next Hospital Bomb

WITH the overwhelming majority of nations seated at the UN voting through calls for a ceasefire in Gaza, the IDF has confirmed it will spread the word of the resolution by placing it on the tip of the next bomb it is aiming at a hospital.

“My only regret is that the ceasefire resolution was voted through sooner, if it had been then we could have placed it on the 22,000 bombs we’ve already dropped on Gaza. Yes, you read that right, 22,000 bombs in six weeks,” said an IDF spokesperson.

“It must be nice for Palestinians to know that 153 out of 193 nations at UN thinks there needs to be an end to our slaughtering of them but the ceasefire vote is about as legally binding as a ‘Who Is Your Favourite Stranger Things Character?’ quiz on Buzzfeed.

Nations objecting to the resolution, which aimed to pressure Israel to do ridiculous things like bringing an end to ethnic cleansing and the murder of innocent civilians, included the US.

“We asked Netanyahu ‘pretty please, stop’ a few weeks ago, probably going to nominate him for a Nobel Peace Prize, what more do you want?” queried President Biden, while standing next to a fresh shipment of baby killing missiles it was sending on to the IDF.

Biden was then distracted by the fact US Republicans were trying to redirect Ukrainian military aid to Vladimir Putin’s Onlyfans account.