Oil Rich Countries Celebrate COP28 Agreement By Showering Crowd In Oil
THE EXCITEMENT was clear for all to the at the COP28 summit, as a landmark deal to transition away from fossil fuel was agreed, greeted by wild celebrations among oil rich Arab states who showered attendees with oil like they were celebrating an F1 Grand Prix win.
“We did it! I might have just said not 48 hours ago that there’s no science behind the idea fossil fuels contribute to climate change but you can definitely believe me when I say oil producing nations, like the UAE, will totally commit to this non-binding bullshit I helped put together,” head of COP28 the UAE’s Sultan Al Jaber told WWN.
“What, was this not something agreed before at Kyoto or Paris? Wait, these clowns are only starting this process now?” said one worried parent, who turned to their child to tell them now might be the time to seek out higher ground before millions of climate refugees get their first.
The deal represents the 50th climate conference in a row which has reached a ‘historic agreement’ that will be ignored by the nations who willfully signed up to it.
“Well, that’s us officially fucked,” said a number of small island nations.
“We pledge to wholeheartedly commit to these measures in America, unless Trump gets in next year, at which point we’ll be burying all climate scientists in our oil fields,” confirmed the US delegation.
Fresh from wiping themselves down after the shower of celebratory oil descended on them, thousands of COP28 delegates then joined a lengthy cavalcade of SUVs on their way to boarding their private jets.