“Finally I Can Go Back To Being A Total Prick”

“YOU have no idea how hard it was to be that fucking happy all the time,” I’m A Celebrity winner Sam Thompson revealed today in a tell-all interview with WWN.

Thompson’s likeable and enthusiastic personality proved to be a hit with viewers, however, Sam immediately regressed to his natural state mere seconds after the final aired.

“I’ll probably go home now and beat a homeless person to death or drown a few kittens in a bag; something to balance out how insanely nice I was in the Jungle,” Thompson added, who admitted to kicking both Ant and Dec in the testicles at the after-show wrap party for no other reason than releasing his pent-up frustration.

“Headbutted Farage too, then I roundhouse kicked Josie Gibson in the face,” Thompson added.

Producers of the show explained this was normal behaviour for an I’m A Celebrity contestant, as being on for three weeks straight takes its toll on people and has its consequences.

“For instance Joe Swash went straight to South Africa on a safari hunt and blew up a baby giraffe with a bazooka,” a producer recalled previous winners, “Last year Jill Scott went seal clubbing in the Antarctic after the show and in season one Tony Blackburn was responsible for lying to the CIA, telling them Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction instigating an invasion and the eventual death of half a million civilians – it’s quite common to be a prick once the show’s over”.