Israeli Army Releases List Of Achievements So Far


THE IDF is recognised by the IDF as the greatest, kindest and most moral invading force on the planet. Where other wars are marked by barbaric acts against civilian populations, the IDF’s trademarked brand of war means it is impossible for them to commit an error, crime or miscalculation. Don’t just take it from us, take it from the IDF.

And if you still find it hard to believe claims that Israel’s army is reinforcing democracy with its war in Gaza, WWN has been provided this list of IDF achievements so far:

Successful use of words ‘targeted’ and ‘precision’ when describing indiscriminate bombing of hospitals, schools, and family homes.

4237 – number of children killed in Gaza since bombing started four weeks ago.

Displacement of 70% of Gaza’s 2.3mn people.

Deadliest war for UN aid workers, deaths totalling 88 and counting.

41 – number of journalists killed, making it the deadliest conflict for journalists in 30 years.

Secured continued support of world leaders with spines made of jelly, who seem content to go along with all this.

All time low Google review rating for IDF.

404,187 – number of times notion of a ceasefire was laughed off by Benjamin Netanyahu.

6,000 – number of bombs dropped over a six-day period on Gaza, eclipsing the total number of bombs the US military dropped in Afghanistan across one year. Not yet clear if Israel unlocks some sort of bonus military aid from Joe Biden for this achievement.

0 – number of foreign news outlets allowed entry into Gaza to document events since bombing began.

At least one bombing of an ambulance not 24 hours after an IDF spokesperson told RTÉ radio ‘we don’t bomb ambulances’ during segment in which spokesperson justified lesser charge of bombing entire hospitals instaed.

154 – number of Palestinians killed in West Bank by Israeli settlers and the Israeli army.

1,208,388 – times an IDF spokesperson has said ‘but what about Hamas?’ as if no one is also condemning the barbaric murders carried out by Hamas.

*Figures could increase, subject to international community’s ongoing shrug of the shoulders.