Breakthrough: Woman Discovers It’s Possible To Condemn Hamas & Israeli State


GATHERING her thoughts over the last number of days and feeling the pressure to have an opinion on everything by social media users, local woman Cliona Fentlan has made a historic breakthrough which could help millions of irate internet users everywhere.

“I just sort of used my critical faculties and next thing I know I’m calling the pure evil actions of Hamas abhorrent and indefensible, and then I was able to conclude that starving innocent people of access to food, water and fuel while bombing civilians is a war crime,” explained Fentlan, believed to be one of a handful of people with no trouble condemning both Hamas and the Israeli state.

“I was sort of on a roll then and I was thinking it is wrong and unhelpful to tarnish all Palestinians with the Hamas brush while failing to see how anyone can react joyously to Hamas’ vile actions,” added Fentlan, admittedly surprised by the clarity of her thoughts and how quickly they formed in her head.

Crucially it was Fentlan’s ability to do all this in private and within the confines of her own mind and not subject social media to her bloviating that has won her praise from experts everywhere.

“It is beyond my comprehension to fathom what Hamas has done but it’s not beyond my comprehension to avoid thinking this does not give the Israeli government permission to yet again disregard international law and perpetrate their own inexcusable crimes on defenceless civilians,” concluded Fentlan, who had the humility to admit she knows as much as the next clueless eejit.