On This Day: Construction Begins On Cliffs Of Moher

BORD FÁILTE have announced the fledgling Irish State’s most ambitious civil engineering project, eclipsing the huge scale and undertaking that was the Poulaphouca hydroelectric station in Wicklow.

The fabricated ‘Cliffs of Moher’ are being constructed with a working force of 1,583 men in a bid to fill the dearth of tourist attractions on the island. The hope is American tourists will make the journey to Ireland to visit the man-made marvel and purchase a great number of novelty key rings, creating thousands of punts in revenue for the beleaguered country.

Built using left over slate from social housing construction and industrial amounts of glue, the 702ft facade will tower over the coastline and replace the eyesore of a beach currently located in Lahinch, Clare. Beginning today, the 17th of August 1952, the construction is expected to be complete in time for the 1960 tourist season.

“A touristic venture, aimed at beckoning exiled generations to their ancestral home is of paramount economic importance to this island. State of the art data entry shows us that Ireland has received exactly 109 tourists in the last decade, and 18 of those got lost on their way to Portugal. We hope to double the number of visitors within the first decade the Cliffs are fully operational,” Fianna Fáil’s Minister for External Affairs Frank Aiken confirmed to Waterford Whispers News.

The Cliffs will become just the fourth tourist attraction in Ireland after the nation’s many cows, Newgrange and a sozzled Brendan Behan.