RTÉ Executive Board Gone To Live On Pension Farm

UPSET and confused RTÉ staff have been reassured by new director general Kevin Bakhurst that the disappearance of the RTÉ executive board is nothing to be worried about.

“They’re just going to live on a farm, it has acres and acres of pensions,” said Bakhurst as he ushered in a new era, speaking to staff in front of the torched remains of Marty Morrissey’s former car.

Bakhurst outlined that a temporary interim board, made up of independent flip flops, will be implemented later today.

Reassuring staff that the executives wouldn’t have to use their own transport to get to the pension farm as Dublin Bay Cruises provided free trips for everyone.

“I know a lot of you have been forced to take pay cuts and you’re working conditions have been strained but I just want to reassure you that these executives are having the time of their life on a big farm, the sun is always shining on their handshakes which are golden, naturally” added Bakhurst.

“Yes, they’ll have plenty of friends to play with there. The Horseracing Ireland guy who put himself in charge of deciding what his own retirement package would be is there, Glenroe is there, John Delaney is there and once an Bord Pleanála’s Paul Hyde is out of prison he’ll be there too,” offered a government representative in attendance.