VAR Replay Confirms Lineker Onside


BBC football presenter Gary Lineker is no longer facing outside pressure for him to be sacked from his job after a VAR check found his tweets, which decried the Tory government’s proposed anti-asylum seekers laws, were fully onside.

The proposed laws brought forward by aspiring Disney cartoon villain Suella Cowardwoman have already been rubbished by legal experts for breaking international law and contravening the European Convention on Human Rights.

“If you look here, where Gary says, ‘these people are human beings’ he’s clearly onside, a full yard or two behind the last defender of the Tories celebrating cruelty like it’s a virtue and not giving a shit that 187 child asylum seekers remain missing after being placed in the care of the Home Office,” confirmed the VAR official.

“Another angle here shows that if the Tories can call people fleeing war and persecution ‘an invasion’ then Gary can say maybe that’s not a great look”.

Lineker, who famously never received a yellow or red card during his career as a professional footballer, dodged a booking despite not agreeing with PM Rishi Sunak’s gleeful warning that if a vulnerable person is trafficked to Britain they’ll get no help if they are placed in slavery conditions by human traffickers.

“We know we say woke cancel culture is ruining the world but we’re going to dedicate our front page to trying to get Gary Lineker canceled from his job of doing the football because he said ,” confirmed the Daily Mail, incensed at such a flagrant public display of empathy towards refugees.

“Everyone at the Beeb must remain politically neutral and unbiased,” added the Mail of the BBC, now run by the Tory donor Richard Sharp who helped Boris Johnson get an £800,000 loan in the weeks before Sharp was named BBC chairman.