Gerry Adams Rejoins The IRA

INSPIRED by former Taoiseach Bertie Ahern re-joining Fianna Fáil after an eleven year hiatus, retired Sinn Féin leader Gerry Adams has announced he too is to make a comeback, WWN reports.

An IRA spokesman confirmed Mr Adams paid the €20 membership fee but stated he will only be a ‘provisional member’ and will not have any voting rights when it comes to who gets kneecapped, abducted, or shot dead and dumped in an unmarked pit of lime up the mountains.

“Gerry will only have a consultancy role and won’t be in charge like he was last time…I mean, when he allegedly had a leadership role in the IRA, which he didn’t – for the record,” the spokesperson told WWN, “he’s joining but he’s not joining, if you get me, but he is looking forward to returning all the same and denying he has anything to do with us”.

It is unclear the move has anything to do with the 2025 Presidential election where Bertie Ahern is also expected to run for the Áras.

“It’s six in one hand and one dozen in the other,” one Sinn Féin supporter compared the two potential candidates, “sure Gerry may have ordered hits on innocent people while he was allegedly the leader of the IRA, but Bertie and co helped destroy the economy of an entire nation, leaving countless people dead”.

Meanwhile, current Westlife members have told Brain McFadden not to so much as even think about it.