Dozens Of Lilt Men Made Redundant

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THERE go the Lilt men. Lilt! Lilt, it had a totally tropical taste; pineapple and grapefruit and has now been discontinued after 48-years leaving dozens of Caribbean drivers across the world redundant.

“Wagwan?” asked one former Lilt man at a protest over redundancy packages outside Leinster House today, where Lilt trucks brought traffic to a standstill causing huge delays across Dublin city centre, “I’ve been delivering Lilt for the past 30 years and now where am I supposed to work? All I know is Lilt. Lilt was everything for me. Lilt. Hot sun is bright. Lilt”.

The tangy drink began in 1975 with the strap line’The Totally Tropical Taste’ and was only sold in Ireland, the UK, Gibraltar, and the Seychelles creating jobs for thousands of Lilt drivers who started work early to deliver cans of Lilt directly to people’s homes before they went to work, which eventually sparked a 3-year war with milk men in ’87 over territory.

“Yes, the deaths of over 5,000 milk and Lilt men was the beginning of the end for all home Lilt and milk deliveries,” explained Lilt man war veteran Kyle Johnson, “the demand for deliveries wasn’t the same after that but we still had muck savages ordering Lilt in places like the west of Ireland”.

“It was only a matter of time before Big Soda bought them out,” stated large bottle of Cidona delivery man, James Roche, who was made redundant in the mid-90s after a new law was introduced banning under 18s from pubs past 9pm.

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