A Parent’s Worst Nightmare: Your Child’s New Friend Is An Uppity Back Chatting Dose


MOTHER-OF-THREE Leanne Tulley should have been enjoying a stress free afternoon and basking the selfless act of helping out another parent when she agreed to her youngest child’s request of having her new best friend sleep over.

However, she didn’t plan for 8-year-old Jane’s new friend Shona, who she met at a summer camp, being a weapon’s grade smart arse bitch.

“Like, I can’t just hit her like my own kid or tell her to ‘fuck off stop annoying me’ – there’s comeback on that when she tells her parents, so I’ve to endure these fucking questions and sassy little comments all because her parents read some hands-off parenting book while on an ayahuasca trip, the hippy pricks,” decried Tulley, after hours of passive aggressive back chat.

In a disturbing turn of events Shona is now showing little interest in playing with Jane, preferring instead to relentlessly badger Tulley as she prepares dinner in the kitchen.

“If I hear one more ‘but my daddy says Lidl is cheaper’ or ‘we don’t eat that in my house because it’s not healthy’ I’m just going to leave her on the side of the road. Tulsa, the guards, whoever, they’ll all side with me once they spend two minutes in that madam’s company,” insisted Tulley who reckons an FBI interrogation is less stressful.

“Could you imagine this day in, day out? You’d just go to the shop for a bottle of wine and never come back,” added Tulley, after Shona disagreed with her explanation to Jane that a sea lion is probably called a sea lion because it shares some common ancestor with a lion.

“I know I’m wrong but Christ, gimme a break”.

Worn down, irritated and in need of never ever having to interact with the precocious motormouth that is Shona again, Tulley texted Shona’s dad “no problem, would love to have her over anytime, she’s an absolute dote”.