THE USA has clarified president Joe Biden’s remarks at the weekend about removing Vladimir Putin from power, stating that they have no intention of fomenting political unrest in a sovereign nation in a bid to depose the sitting government and install a new one with more favourable standpoint on the west’s interests, adding ‘heaven forbid, what a notion’.
“I heard people say that President Biden was hinting at a US-backed… what was that they were calling it? A regime change? Regime change, am I saying that correctly?” said Secretary Of State Anthony Blinken, in a press conference called to discuss Biden’s ‘senior moment’ in Warsaw.
“Of course, we all agree that Vladimir Putin’s reign has caused devastation for countless lives and political unrest across the world, but the notion that we would, haha, that we would somehow go about ousting him and getting one of our guys in there is laughable. How do you guys even come up with silly things like this?”
While reporters began to point towards instances from across the last century where America’s ‘guiding hand’ may have covertly ushered in regime changes all around the world, Blinken was quick to state that Biden’s comments were simply ‘misconstrued’ by the press.
“Joe thought he was actually saying ‘Regina, change’, something he regularly says to his carer and nurse Regina Wilcox, when his colestomy bag is full,” Blinken corrected.
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