Tom Cruise To Explain NFTs In Most Daring Mission Impossible Stunt Yet

FULL time mad bastard Thomas Cruise has clung onto planes, he’s clung onto trains, he’s even clung onto things in Bahrain. But for Mission Impossible 7, the veteran actor will tackle his most reckless stunt yet; offering an opinion on crypto currency and non-fungible tokens.

Although little is known about the plot of MI:7 and MI:8, currently filming back-to-back, sources close to the production have leaked that Cruise is involved in a 5-minute, unbroken shot with no cuts where he explains the intricacies of Bitcoin, Ethereum and NFTs in a way that will have audiences ‘shitting in their seats’.

“Tom has trained with a crypto bro for weeks to get his terminology absolutely perfect,” said MI director Chris McQuarry, who admits that this is the first time Cruise has done anything on film that made the producers truly question their star.

“You realise, if he gets one term wrong, he’s in for a lifetime of 23-year-old Ethan Hunts clogging up his mentions on Twitter, calling him a dumb shit and telling him to ‘stick to something he knows about’. I wouldn’t do it myself, no fucking way. Tom though, he’s crazy. He’ll parachute, he’ll fly a helicopter, he’ll break down the secrets behind what is clearly a pyramid scheme. No fear. No hesitation. That’s what makes him Tom Cruise”.

McQuarry went on to state that Cruise’s trademark ‘run very fast’ scene will also make it into the new Mission Impossible, as the actor gets chased by a massive electricity bill.