“Party Back In Mine” Johnson Tells Tory MPs After Parliament Grilling


A TRIUMPHANT British PM Boris Johnson will be dusting off the mother and father of all hangovers after celebrating breezily dismissing the fact 12 Downing St parties are now under investigation by MET police, as well as the whole 150,000 dead from Covid thing.

“That was a right fucking giggle, wasn’t it?” Johnson was heard saying to Tory MPs, after he was subjected to questions over the Sue Gray report and testimonies in parliament from MPs who talked about not being able to say goodbye to loved ones during lockdown while at the same time Johnson and No.10 staff were doing the macarena.

Johnson conga lined his way into his Downing St flat for a strictly bring your own booze and coke evening of debauchery as the British media earnestly stated ‘we can’t see a way out of this for Johnson’ for the 923rd day in a row.

Several ambulances were needed on scene after a ‘drink every time you’ve taken to the airwaves to lie for me’ game immediately led to several cabinet ministers requiring emergency liver transplants.

“That’s the most fun I’ve had since since burning that £50 pound note in front of that homeless guy, recent lockdown parties aside,” offered Johnson, as he watched back PMQs while somehow downing a fully functional brewery.

“Watch this,” chuckled Johnson as he saw himself say ‘I couldn’t possibly comment until the active investigation is over’ to questions ranging from ‘why are you such a soul sucking sociopath’, ‘how many children do you have?’ and ‘did you just make a vile quip of Jimmy Savile?’

“Oh do shut up, it’s like these ignorant plebs are real people,” remarked Johnson as one Tory MP threatened to grow a spine.